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<< Jays face a major decision on Bautista
Toronto, Canada (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - It's safe to say Toronto Blue Jays General Manager Alex Anthopoulos had no idea heading into this year that he would have to make an important mid-season decision involving Jose Bautista. With the July 31st n

<< Celtic signs striker Hooper
Glasgow, Scotland (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Celtic made its sixth signing of the offseason Tuesday, adding 22-year-old striker Gary Hooper on a four-year deal from Scunthorpe United. Hooper had 43 goals in 80 matches for Scunthorpe United, a

<< CFL West: Burris powers through errors in win over Riders
Toronto, Canada (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - While a home win by the Calgary Stampeders against the Saskatchewan Roughriders isn't completely surprising, that the win came by 20 points is not something many would have expected. Calgary put on a great sec

<< Braves, Ross agree to two-year extension
Washington, DC (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - The Atlanta Braves and catcher David Ross agreed to a two-year extension through the 2012 season. Financial terms were not available. Ross is currently batting .269 with 18 RBI in 35 games this sea

Youzhny, Almagro win openers in Gstaad >>
Gstaad, Switzerland (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Top seeds Mikhail Youzhny of Russia and Nicolas Almagro of Spain were a pair of first-round winners Tuesday at the Swiss Open. Youzhny rolled past French lucky-loser Marc Gicquel 6-2, 6-2 in 72 m

Ortiz, Greisen and Moye-Moore earn weekly AFL honors >>
Tulsa, OK (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Tampa Bay linebacker ERIC ORTIZ, Milwaukee quarterback CHRIS GREISEN and Orlando linebacker MARLON MOYE-MOORE have been named the JLS Ironman, Russell Athletic Offensive Players and Riddell Defensive Player of the

Schiavone wins Istanbul opener >>
Istanbul, Turkey (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - It took two days, but French Open champion Francesca Schiavone finally posted a first-round victory at the $220,000 Istanbul Cup hardcourt tennis event. The top-seeded Schiavone was leadin

Former Dolphin Galbreath dead at 45 >>
Davie, FL (Sportsbook Betting Lines) - Former Miami Dolphins offensive lineman Harry Galbreath died Tuesday of an apparent heart ailment. He was just 45 years old. The Dolphins organization issued a release Tuesday saying Galbreath had been work

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.

FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

Trash talk has a place in every competitive endeavor (except baseball; those stirrup-wearers are too busy chewing on their sunflower seeds and their supplements to worry about what their opponents are doing).

Fantasy sports is no exception. Any intelligent discussion of the subject would probably start with a thesis statement or a definition of terms. Thankfully, this wont be an intelligent discussion.

Let me just say that I am happy to take a place in this space alongside my talented colleagues, even our commissioner. (You should see how she bleats like a demented paper boy about league fees on our fantasy site).

Trash talking, I would argue, is primarily about amusing your friends, their sheeplike demeanors and sloping foreheads notwithstanding. The best place I have found for football trash talking is at www.SportsAlarm.com.

Beyond the entertainment factor, though, I would recognize that the sophomoric ritual has one advantage, when properly applied. It magnifies your fantasy triumphs and mitigates your fantasy failures by transforming the eventual point total into an afterthought. Winning makes it seem like your opponent really is a truss-owning, lapel-pin-wearing nitwit. And in defeat, trash talk can be the air bag to break the fall from your hyperbolic heights. The plug-necked yahoos on your team, you can say, will be sacking groceries by the end of the season.

The best trash talk, in my view, is layered and nuanced. And it doesnt focus only on your opponents team. It picks apart your opponent. The idea is to create a shock-and-awe-scale blizzard of nonsense, and the goal is to make your opponent drop his hands from his keyboard in exasperation.

What team does your opponent root for? Accuse a Giants fan of having a Joe Namath pillowcase. Wheres your opponent from? Give a look of concern no matter his reply, then say, I'll try to type slower for you next time. Is your opponent into politics? Label everyone a tax-and-spend corporate shill.

Cap all that with a liberal application of irrelevance. For instance, dont just conclude by saying your opponent is a twerp who drafts like my grandmother. Say that your opponent is a sweater-wearing, eyebrow-plucking twerp who drafts his team about as well as Zsa Zsa Gabor gave acceptance speeches at the Oscars. By the time your foe makes sense of that, his starting running back will have had puppies.

But what about you? Hmm? Recall a memorable slam? Have a tried-and-true technique? Know someone who seems impervious to insult? Take a moment and tells us about it. Put together some (fit-for-publication) thoughts. You wont be too busy returning phone messages from your friends, Im sure, to reply.

In addition to the trash talking, the Sports Alarm has a huge gallery of high resolution pictures of beautiful women and models in bikinis. The most popular models are: Lindsay Lohan, Carrie Underwood, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Paris Hilton.